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Life of the Working Mom: Feeling Guilty

April 11, 2013
Nelnet Regional Director Kristi Jones and her family

Nelnet Regional Director Kristi Jones and her family

Hello again, working moms and dads!  I thoroughly enjoyed writing the first Life of the Working Mom article and hope you enjoyed it as well.  Here is a quick update since the last article: Brayden turns one on April 11th, and I cannot believe how much quicker time flies with the second child.  I was so anxious for each milestone with Tyler, but with Brayden, I want him to stay a baby as long as possible.  Tyler, my four year old, is playing t-ball and has at least one practice and two games each week.  It amazes me that four year olds have the attention span to last 20 minutes, let alone three different hour long events each week.  I think I tell him 10 times a game to stop playing in the dirt and pay attention to the game, but at least he looks adorable in his little uniform!

Today’s article is inspired by a quote from Erica Jong, “Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty, and I’ll show you a man,” (no offense, men). Women, working moms in particular, put themselves over so much angst regarding the decisions we make at home and on the job.  Recently, I feel that I have failed on multiple occasions, especially on the home-front.  Here are a handful of things that come to mind right away regarding the guilt I have faced in this week alone:

  1. Not going shopping for my boys Easter baskets until after church on Sunday afternoon, and them not searching for them until Monday
  2. Signing up to play in a tennis tournament several weeks ago, not realizing the tournament takes place on the weekend of my 5-year wedding anniversary
  3. Multi-tasking during most of my work conference calls (I sure hope my boss isn’t reading this)
  4. Missing Tyler’s (my four year old) t-ball game to play in the tennis tournament
  5. Being too tired to cook on Thursday and feeding the family cereal for dinner (the sweet sugary kind)
  6. Watching “Cougar Town” instead of working on much overdue housework
  7. Keeping way too many emails in my Outlook inbox
  8. Waiting on the laundry fairy to come put away the folded clothes that have been sitting on my bedroom floor for a week
  9. Losing my patience with my son and yelling at him, instead of resolving the issue in a calm manner that a four year old would actually understand
  10. Procrastinating and writing this article the day it is supposed to be published
  11. Falling asleep on the couch, after the boys go to bed, instead of spending quality time with my handsome hubby

Unfortunately, the list goes on and on.  According to Sheryl Sandberg, this tendency to wallow in guilt and beat ourselves up is natural for women but obviously horribly self-defeating.  I still have a long way to go, but I am going to work hard at not fretting over my downfalls and instead, try to improve on them and not take any time that I have with my family, friends, and work for granted.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Jen permalink
    April 12, 2013 7:54 am

    I can completely relate to this. My kids are 2.5 and 5 months. I often have conversations with my hubby about feeling guilty about going to work and many of the things listed in this article. While I still feel guilty, it helps to be reminded I am not alone. Thanks!

  2. Kristi permalink
    April 15, 2013 8:45 am

    Thanks Jen! It is definitely refreshing to know that I am not alone. It is great to be surrounded by so many wonderful working moms in this industry, whom we can learn from and laugh with.

  3. Kenna permalink
    April 15, 2013 11:01 am

    What a fun refreshing article! I think it definately helps to have a group of coworkers or friends to laugh about these things. After all, we’re all human.

    • Christine permalink
      April 17, 2013 10:00 am

      I hear you ladies! Women definitely take on a majority of the responsibility in the household and now outside of the household too. Life is sure different then it was 30+ years ago. I found something incredible that one of my dear friends shared and wow! what a difference it is making in my world!

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